The National Movie Awards - WTF

Rupert Grint - 'The Best Actor In The World'

Tonight in the UK ITV screens something called The National Movie awards. These 'awards' are the bastard son of The National Television Awards which has been a ratings success for the channel. I don't watch the TV awards becuase they are bullshit. The Movie awards don't even get into that category.

Tonight, for your delectation, you will be offered the chance to see Due Date (awful, avoid, avoid avoid) go 'head to head' - don't you wish something would go toe to toe for once? - with the Adama Sandler/Jennifer Aniston alleged comedy Just Go For It and Paul - a misjudged misfiring of the Simon Pegg/ Nick Frost partnership . If one of them doesn't win Best 'Comedy' it will go to 'Little Fockers' - the franchise that makes money hand over fist but has sent De Niro's credibility to the bottom of a dark well.


In the Fantasy section Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I slugs it out with The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - notice how long the titles are for fantasy films - TRON: Legacy and, wait for it, Jack Black's 'brilliant' reimagining of Gulliver's Travels. Oh Boy.


In the Performance of the Year category, Oscar winner Colin Firth will go up against Oscar nominees Jeff Bridges for his turn in True Grit, Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech, Helena Bonham Carter in The King's Speech, Oscar winner Natalie Portman in Black Swan, Jesse Eisenberg in the Oscar winning  The Social Network along with... Nick Frost and Simon Pegg for Paul. There are others nominated but I've just lost the will to live. Pegg and Frost, best performance for Paul?. Ney, ney and thrice ney. A billion times ney. Worst performance by two much loved actors maybe.

But the category that is in danger of making my head explode is for Best As Yet Unreleased Picture or as they moniker it Must See Movie of the Summer. I have no idea how this works but in a category that is all about puff and hype the final Harry Potter, the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean, the second Hangover and I don't know what number X-men prequel have all been nominated. 
What? How can something that hasn't been released win an award? We're being asked to vote on which is the most anticipated? They should call it the I'm Wetting My Knickers to See Award.

Whatever these awards are about it sure as hell isn't anything to do with recognising outstanding achievement in film - Oscar wipes his brow, Phew. Where is Inception, where is The Fighter? Where is The Kids Are All Right, and Winters Bone. Nowhere because these awards for people who watch TV and don't go to the movies. .

Here's a quote lifted from The National Movie awards comments page which sums up where these trinkets stand:
"Everyone should totally vote for Rupert Grint, to me, he is the best actor in the world... Vote for Rupert, straight away! He deserves it for doing such amazing performances in Harry Potter, Cherrybomb, Driving Lessons, Wild Target, and Thunderpants! Rupert Grint all the way! Come on guys! VOTE VOTE VOTE!
Yep, Rupert Grint the Best actor in the world. Thunderpants.

Move over De Niro, you only have yourself to blame. How can I look anyone in the eye and argue that you made some of the best films ever when you are now known to a generation for the fucking Fockers!

If you're watching tonight, good luck, enjoy. I shall be washing the hair I haven't pulled out.