What a morning!

The light on the answer machine was flashing when I got back from the school run.

"You have six messages" said the nice lady in that flat superior electronic voice she adopts whenever I push her buttons.

"Message one, Message received at eight eleven"
"Riche boy, it's Alan from Limitless Productions. We love the script. Love it."
Now I'm thinking what do they have of mine?
"Sorry I know it's taken awhile but better late, eh, buddy".
I'm racking my brains now.
"Here's the really good news Channel 4 are thrilled with it. They want to do eight"
Which bloody script - I'm shouting at the machine now like he can hear me.
"One change they want to make, they want to move it from Newcastle...relocate, it'll need a tweak"
Oh, THAT script. Christ. You've had that for two sodding years!
"Give me a ring, talk later"

"Message two. Message received at eight sixteen".
"Richard, it's Mike Prophet. About the sit-com...I know we passed in October but funny sit-coms are back in vogue, we'd like to option. Call me".

Message three. Message received at eight nineteen".

"Richie boy, it's Alan again. Did I say they only want to make the fucking thing in the fucking Bahamas? Can you believe that. Ring me".

"Message four. Message received at eight twenty five".
"(American female) Is that...is this Richard Leslie Lewis's phone? You have some generic message? (long beat)  I'll ring back"

Message Five. Message received at eight thirty three".
"Richard, it's me (my agent) Prince's Picturtes are very, underlined, very interested in your Ken Dodd biopic. Please don't ever make me speak to a machine again. This is money, have your mobile switched on at all times, Ciao."

Message Six. Message received at eight thirty eight.
(American male - a familiar voice)  Hi, is this...(Amerian female in background heard saying 'It's his number') this is Richard right? Okay, this is Stephen Speilberg, we're doing another Indiana Jones, we saw your work on The Last Detective and we like that quirky take...I'm gonna call you back in thirty minutes, okay. We're gonna talk about this, okay?"

Message Six. Message received at eight forty two".
"Dad, can you get off the phone, the bus hasn't come. You've got to take us to school?"

Hope you all had a good April 1st.