Today I read that some group out there are in the process of buying the Blade Runner brand in a bid to turn it into sequels, prequels and much, much merchandising. Given the amount of money it takes to make a movie it's not surprising that producers cast around for anything that had a shimmer attached to it; be that comic book, novel, old TV series or film ripe for remake. Just look what the Coen Brothers have done with True Grit. They made it grittier and truer. But with Blade Runner they can imagine all kinds of things around it but they can't remake it. That is verboten.
If you look down the list of what's been made over the past five years and what's coming up in the next twelve months you could be forgiven for thinking you were in a time warp. Everything from Alvin and The Chipmunks to the X-Files by way of The Green Hornet, Clash of The Titans and Bewitched. Some deserve much praise - stand up Christopher Nolan for what you did with Batman - others deserve scorn and derision - sit down Todd Phillips, Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson for Starsky and Hutch.
But you can't blame them. The theory is that people will go to see something they're familiar with at the expense of something good that they've never heard of. It makes the movie easier to SELL.
Okay. With that philosophy in mind let's remake some movies with Charlie Sheen. You've heard of the show/comic/old film...and now EVERYONE has heard of Charlie *?@X£^ Sheen. Let's put them together. We could make some money here.
Charlie Sheen's Angels, the one where he has phone sex with the Angels
Charlie's Chocolate Factory, the one where he gets to hump a Lumpa.
Charlie Wilson's Whore, the one where he gets to beat up a woman he's paid for. Not funny but then when was Charlie Sheen funny.
This is one Mr Sheen guaranteed to take the polish OFF your product.
Your suggestions gratefully accepted.
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