Meetings II

I seem to have hit a nerve with my last post on meetings (see below). Apparently 300 of you have had the same kind of experience. I'm not surprised, they can be the source of much frustration and much hilarity.

Okay, so here's another tale about a meeting. 

This story comes from the world of Commercial Radio, where, many moon ago, two presenters - let's call them Him and Her -  decided it was about time they got a pay rise. It was a City station, doing okay but getting as much from their jocks as humanly possible. Long shifts at the microphone were often extended and when they came off air they were asked to stay later and 'help' around the station. Frankly the place was horrendously understaffed and everyone knew it.

Come Christmas they thought, aha, a little holiday leverage; the manager wouldn't dare sack us if we demand a pay rise at this festive time.  An appointment was made, our jocks turned up at the manager's door and knocked. From the other side comes an "Enter!", like Walter Matthau in The Sunshine Boys. They go in to find their boss in jovial mood.

"We've come to demand a pay rise" they say.
"Yes, yes. But it's Christmas, have a mince pie" says the boss. "Have two".

Now they're eating pies and drinking sherry and there's much laughter and good humour.

"To get back to business," say our DJ's.
"Hang on," says the boss man. "If we're going to talk business we need to know when we're talking business and when we're shooting the breeze".

He then produced three sets of Reindeer Antlers.

"When we're talking business we put the antlers on, when we're just chatting we take the antlers off" says the manager.

A look passes between our two jocks.

"Come on, we just want to talk about..."
"Wait, is this business?"
"Yeah"
"Okay. Antlers on"
They all put their antlers on.
"Thing is, boss,  we're doing twice the amount of work for our pay. We're on the air all hours, working around the off...will you stop laughing!"
"Antlers off!"
"This won't work if we start laughing when we've got the antlers on. We're trying to be serious here"
"Okay. Antlers on. You were saying...?"
Now they all look at each other and collapse in a heap.

This goes on for an hour.

An Hour.

Every time they tried to put their case for a pay rise the boss cried, "Antlers on!"

And no-one could finish a sentence.

They left the office some time later. Pissed and full of pies.

But they never got their pay rise.