Witter

I get a lot of hits from Twitter referrals so for the next few paragraphs I'm treading very carefully. You see, I've come up with an idea that just might (say it quietly) topple the mighty Twitter - I'm calling it Witter. Yup, it sounds kind of similar but actually that is where the resemblance ends. My idea is to encourage all those famous funny people to come over to my site where they can relax and just be Funny because Witter is all about Wit.

No longer will they feel the need to commentate on their lives. No longer will they need to update us on such minutia  as "Going into bathroom to cut toe-nails", though the knowledge that a fine comic goes to the bathroom to clip his nails is fascinating and illuminating and a positive ice breaker at parties, "I see (insert name of red nosed clown) just popped off to clip his big pinky".
which can then be met with the rejoiner, "Ah yes but he's now popped out for a coffee".

Here are some recent Tweets by top comedic talent:


Just got back from going out for coffee.

Raining, Again. Coat or mac?

Can't stand woman over the road she looks at me every time I take in the milk.

Anyone know if they still do Victory V's ?

Off to Collumpton with the kids. Don't think I've spelt that right.

The mac's not bloody waterproof. (wet shirt now)

You can get them in Sturriges Olde Worlde Sweete Emporium. Brighton. (Victory V's)

Why do I own three polo shirts? I never play polo. Never have, never will.

Bastard Jag just cut me up.

It's Cullompton.

I use chicken stock instead of water.

My plan is that over on "Witter" all these mundane little details will be expunged from the conversation and snappy one liners will grow in their stead. So, instead of shared Tweets with Peter Andre about his latest photo shoot or Fern Cotton telling us about her shopping excursion to Tesco Express with Leona Lewis we can prepare to howl long and hard at the the droll and witty remarks of our finest comic brains.

But of course this is fantasy. I have neither the technical talent or know-how to write a computer programme to bring this hilarious idea to fruition. If only.

Ah well.

You can follow me on twitter @lazlovictor

...Off to have a wee.